He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Damn victory sex feels great
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
