well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My balls are so social today.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
