I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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