it wasn't lemon gatorade
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
