I wish I could teleport
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
