dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
