Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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