I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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