He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Boobs are out for the taking
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
