im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
