This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
