But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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