Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
