my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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