What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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