my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
