Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
