What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
