i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
