just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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