If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
