i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
