It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
