I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
