How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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