if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize