If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
