wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
don't judge my taste in strippers
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
