I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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