I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
