would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize