Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
