you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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