Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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