someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize