Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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