Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
