Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
