U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
