I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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