did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
