Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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