But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize