kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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