is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
