He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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