White coat. Heels.
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My balls are so social today.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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