He had one of those small greek statue penises
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
