High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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