She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
