and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
