I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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