i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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