Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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