i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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