its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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