lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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