u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
