We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize