Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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