so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
