Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
