you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
i believe in u and ur pee
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
