But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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